Coaches Gyan - Want, Can, Do

This morning, in yet another never-ending deep life talk, Sweety was trying to recruit me as her personal life coach. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t applying. We meandered through the usual playlist — dreams, goals, confusion, career, soul-searching — you know, the kind of existential crisis playlist that hits you twice daily:  One at 9 AM thinking about what work to do and One at 10:30 PM when Wi-Fi is strong and self-doubt is stronger.

Somewhere in that intellectual dhobi ghat of thoughts, I had a brain ka bulb-on moment : "Understanding the difference between what you want to do, what you can do, and what you actually do… is the secret to shanti (inner peace)."

Naturally, Sweety didn’t react. Lost in her world of ChatGPT searches like: “What should i write in my team members appraisals?” So I repeated it — in my best coach voice. This time, she paused. The gears started turning (finally). After a rare moment of stunned silence, she got it. I told her to write it down. She said, “Too much effort.” So I took matters into my own hands and here it is...

Life constantly shuffles between three truths:

• What you want to do — Your hopes, dreams, startup ideas, and that Goa trip you keep planning.
• What you can do — Your current skill set, budget, time, and that network signal.
• What you actually do — endless hours on Netflix, overthinking, half-finished projects, and constantly on whats app.

Why this matters:

• Too much focus on what you want → Hello, anxiety and guilt.
• Too much on what you can’t do → Welcome, helplessness.
• Only focus on what you do → Often = autopilot + regret.

But when you pause, zoom out, and say: “Yeh karna hai, yeh ho sakta hai, aur yeh kar raha hoon”

That’s where peace begins and you understand the gap between these and accept that while all three may never align perfectly, self-awareness helps you navigate the difference with grace.