Press Reset.

Div headed back to US to restart her life post vacation. Last week was extremely unusual, I let down my guard, and let someone come close to know me, I shared and showed emotions after many many years. It is time to get back to my life and put back the firewalls and barriers again. I started by deleting all communication (emails, whats app, phone numbers) both current and historic. Found some old images on Google Photos and Flickr, and deleted them as well. I just don’t want anything to be vulnerable again and cause any emotional upheaval. This is just me being a Taurus Bull. With this interaction, I think I found my closure.

Just before leaving for the Airport, she messaged me on what’s app, I was outside, and when I saw the message I responded and called her. There was nothing to talk about, more of a courtesy, and it ended in 3 minutes. She had to get ready to start for the airport and for me, it was a good excuse to hang up. Not sure if she messaged out of courtesy.

As a typical Taurian bull, I value loyalty and commitment. Somewhere being married or in a relationship, I find it difficult to digest meeting others or communicating with exes, No matter how bad the existing relationship is, It just complicates stuff sooner or later. The one-off conversations and pleasantry exchange is fine, but cannot be regular thing. 

Rewinding back, while with Div in 2006 and 2007, I was stuck somewhere, like a stepney of a scooter, She was constantly communicating with her Ex’s (emotionally charged) (Back tire of the scooter) and then there was her future husband (front tire of the scooter), and I was somewhere fixed used to lean on or being that clown trying to cheer her up. At one point, her ex called me and was shouting at me. Not sure if I or even the ex deserved that ordeal. Wonder how she kept up with all of it, unnecessarily put others through it, and if she realizes the pain she puts others through.



While her smile is still great, and probably worth it, I don’t think I have what it takes to be there doing this yet again.

So it is all about resetting. Moving on...


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