Fast forward blog

 

Continuing the blog from where I left 16 years ago. A lot has happened in these years, I finally gave in to family pressures and got married in 2009.

When mindset and wavelengths don't match, adjustment is not easy. There are family pressures and expectations from the spouse and then there is how you want to live, what you want to do, and how you want to do it. if blackmailing is a craft, families (mother, father, siblings etc) are extremely good at it.

When you have nothing in common with your spouse, gelling with your spouse is not easy. If there is physical attraction, kiss and make-up may help with the problem at least initially, if there is no attraction and only egos it is a long-drawn battle. My life was probably the latter. Due to the constant blackmail from parents and inlaws claiming heart disease, Char log kya kahenge, etc separation was never an option. It was a daily grind of tempers flaring, shouting, avoiding eye contact, sleeping separately, and so on.  But then put on a mask and be available for a Skype call with the parents to show them how happy you are. Yes SKYPE -- Smart phone bhaut mehanga tha.. aur whats app nahi tha in those days

Well time passed, and the fights were more frequent and more dramatic. When you finally have a baby, there is something in common, the number of fights reduced, since the baby takes center stage.  However, the small items accumulate into something big and scary. 

If only Men had the choice of sorting things now than listening to a list of things in a high pitch later. Men cant think beyond, cars, sports, news, and food, they cannot keep a log of the issues, for them the current issue is the highest and greatest, but women are from Venus and remember the minutest of details from years ago. They can go on and on with no battery recharge. 

Well, the ups and downs of life continue until covid, when you need to share personal space 24 hours a day. You are practically in each other's face if you live in a two-bedroom apartment with Kids. This is when you make peace and see through the other literally as if they are transparent.  Fights gradually reduce as you are now into one or two-sentence conversation and children are generally the go-between. 

Now you add the parents to the mix, they come with old age, health issues, high ego and often leaking eyes.

Now in mid of 2023, I feel I have seen it all. I feel content, not wanting anything else. Material things don't excite me anymore. Ratrace, promotions, salary hikes, and office politics don't get me ruffled. Either I have attained a zen state or gone crazy. All I carve for is a cup of masala tea (made from Tata Leaf tea, not the tea dust) and 30 mins of absolute pin-drop silence. This gives me orgasmic pleasure.

For those who say chai to chai hai.. bhaisaab Tea dust and Tea Leaf mein bahut farak hai..